Corrupt me
by DanicaD
Summary: I met Edward Cullen when I was twelve years old. To him I was the sweet, innocent daughter of the chief, but two years later I'm standing on his porch asking: "Corrupt me." All human.
1. Chapter 1

I was twelve years old when I first met Edward Cullen.

I had been walking home from school that day. The sky was partly cloudy which was better than the everyday dreary weather of Forks. Dad was working till late and Renee…

Well, I haven't spoken to Renee in years so I wouldn't know what she does.

It was nice to walk for a change. The teenagers of today have become so lazy and I wouldn't allow it to happen to me. Sure it smelled like moss balls and rain 24/7 but it was good to be outdoor. Seth doesn't like the outdoors, so we spent our lunch time in the cafeteria.

Seth is my one and only best friend. We met in kindergarten, he was the only one to talk to the new girl from Arizona, me. Renee couldn't handle being tied down with a child so she dropped me off at Charlie's took a trip with my step dad Phil to Europe and never looked back.

No calls on my birthday, Christmas or on New Year's. It was like I never existed to her. The other kids knew I existed, but they weren't exactly happy with it. The first day I showed up, Mike Newton had made it very clear that he doesn't like me. Calling me things that no 6 year old should know and his 'girlfriend' Jessica Stanely didn't make my life any easier. I had come home with bubblegum in my hair so many times, it would take more than the fingers on my hands to count, but Seth was different.

Seth suffers from anxiety attacks and found me calming to be around. We had been inseparable ever since. His older sister Leah hung out with us from time to time but it was only to get into Charlie's good books for the future.

I heard thumping not too far away from me. I turned around and came face to chest with Jacob Black.

Jacob Black, the son of my father's best friend and my number one tormentor. His tormenting though was more severe than the rest though. I've had bruises shaped like his fingers, dents in my skin in the shape of his fingernails and the worst thing was that I couldn't tell my dad. Like myself, Charlie didn't have many friends and Billy was his closest companion. Telling him about Jacob's abuse would lead to the end of their friendship and I couldn't do that to him. So like a big girl, I kept my mouth shut.

"Hey ugly duckling. Why you walking alone? You know your daddy wouldn't like it knowing that you put yourself in danger." He said with a gravelly voice that made me shiver with all sorts of bad feelings. "What do you want Jacob." I said, my voice as meek as a lamb.

"Well if you must know. I'm going through a phase, any girl gets me as stiff as a rock."

"What do you mean?" I keep my eyes to the floor as I feel his body uncomfortably close to mine. "I forgot that you're still a kid. It means I'm horny duck. And seeing you in that school uniform is making me so horny." He says thrusting his hips against me. I feel his erection against my school shirt.

I feel my stomach churn. In all the years that I've known Jacob has he never gone this far. "But don't flatter yourself. I'm sixteen and a guy, anything turns me on." He says his lips on my ear. His lips move lower, down to my jaw where he starts sucking and biting.

I try to keep the tears from reaching the surface, but it pours out when he moves from my jaw to my lips. This wasn't how my first kiss was meant to be.

I was supposed to be in love, not molested on the sidewalk where anyone can drive past. His large hands come up to cup my small breast. He's thrusting his erection against me, grunting. "Fuck Duckling." He moans while I groan, his hands have moved from my breast to my hips, gripping them too tight.

Suddenly he's pulled off me and I finally can sigh in relief that it didn't go further, but I feel completely disgusted. I look up at my hero and gasp.

My hero is none other than Edward Cullen, Forks' own bad boy. He's the same age as Jacob, yet slightly taller and with skin of porcelain and hair the same shade of a penny. He's been a pain in my dad's ass since him and his family moved here. It if wasn't underage drinking, it was trespassing or even being caught in questionable positions with the young girls of Forks. He also hated Jacob with a passion.

Currently he was gripping Jacob's shirt, grunting something too low for me to hear. Jacob nods quickly before scurrying away. He turned to me and wiped he last of the tears away. "Are you okay?" his velvet voice leaves me speechless, so all I do is nod. He takes my small hand and places it into his large one. He tugs me towards to his Volvo. "Let's get you home."

Once he turns the car on, a song starts playing. It's music that I've never heard, but it fascinates me. "Who is this?"

He smiles, showing off those pearly white teeth. "Foreigner, Juke Box Hero. I'm not really a fan of heavy metal but it captured my attention. I nod and stare at my hands in my lap.

"What Jacob did to you… you didn't want him to do it right?" he asks wearily.

"No, he stole my first kiss and made me feel disgusted in myself for letting him touch me." My voice starts to quiver. His hand comes to my lap, cradling my hand. "Hey, it's not your fault that Jacob is a sick fuck. You did nothing wrong." He kisses my temple and it's a feeling I can't describe, but it's a good feeling.

"Jacob said that that he was…horny. That's why he did it." I look to see Edward gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white. "Like I said, he's a sick fuck." He says turning into my driveway. "How did you know where I live?" he smirks. "Me and the chief are so close, it would be wrong for me not to know where he lives and besides, Forks is a small town. Everyone knows where everyone lives." He climbs out to open my door and walks me to the door. "Thank you Edward."

"Anytime Isabella." He looks deeply into my eyes. "Isabella, can I try something?" I feel my cheeks heating up. "only if you call me Bella." I say softly. He smiles, soft and sweet. Not in a cocky way, bt in a genuine way. "Bella. Beautiful." His hand comes to cup my jaw. His nose nudges mine playfully, just to relax my nerves. He lowers his lips to mine and oh!

How magical and sweet this kiss is.

"That should've been my first kiss." I whisper. He kisses the apples of my cheeks before reluctantly releasing me. "If that dickhead ever hurts you again, you tell someone." He says suddenly cold and harsh. He turns away before I can ask him anything. A feeling settles in my stomach for the third time today.

The feeling of self-pity.

* * *

**_Edward Cullen kissed me_**

Seth stares at the note in shock before laughing. He continued till Mrs. Cope shushed him. He mumbles an apology before scribbling on the piece of paper.

**_Yeah right Bell._**


	2. Chapter 2

That was two years ago.

Edward Cullen treated me like a contagious disease shortly after our meeting. I saw him once or twice around town with friends where he acted like a… a dick; smoking some sort of substance that clearly looked illegal, treating people like sweet Angela Webber like the dirt under his shoe and the worst one that broke my heart: some girl draped over him.

I understood why he would be interested in those girls, they were beautiful. But if he could get girls like all of the Denali sisters; why you he even glance, let alone kiss, someone as young and plain such as myself?

Jacob didn't ease up in the past two years, in fact he got worse. Every time Billy came over for a fishing day with dad, Jacob offered to babysit; which meant that I was going to be both sexually and physically assaulted for the day. It started out small due to Edward's scare, but became bigger as time went on. He would tell me thing like he was going to take my virginity, take a video and post it on Facebook to show everyone what a slut the chief's daughter was. He stuck his fingers into my panties and rubbed my nub. I felt so disgusted in him and in myself for letting him touch me. I refused to touch him though and that is what caused most of my bruises.

Angry red marks, which later turned into awful shades of deep blue and purple were scattered across my body and I had to lie to Charlie every time he picked up on some of them.

I told Seth about what Jacob does to me. His reaction shocked me and probably ripped my heart into two.

He told me it was most likely my fault because Jacob wouldn't do these things to me if I didn't give him a reason to. I smacked him across the face and told him that he had no right to say that to his only friend. Leah quickly agreed with me, which shocked me for two reasons:

I didn't know that she was listening to the conversation and Leah hasn't really been anyone's friend. Leah had been close friends with her cousin and her boyfriend Sam, but when she found the two of them together in the backseat of Sam's car, she quickly ended both friendships. I can tell she misses them though, but what's done is done.

I had become Leah's friend after she comforted me and told me that Seth was a big dick. I even told her about Edward and unlike Seth, she believed me without hesitation. Seth apologized after a few days, but I don't think we could ever be the same again.

* * *

I adjusted my skirt before ringing the doorbell. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as I heard those heavy footsteps near the door along with grunts and curses of frustration. He unlocked the door and swung it open, nearly hitting me square on in the face. His eyes showed surprise for a brief moment before covering them up with a cold and harsh stare.

"How did you know where I live?" knitting his brows together. I wove my fingers in between one another to prevent me from reaching up to smoothen his frown. "Like you once said, everyone knows where everyone lives." He smirked and bit his perfect pink lower lip. "True, but ours is a little more harder to find than your average Forks' home. How did you get here?"

"I walked." I say, looking into his widening eyes. "Fuck Bella that's like what five miles?"

"Four."

"What would the chief say if he found his innocent daughter on my corrupted porch?" he ran his fingers through his hair and I almost swooned.

That was a sight I never wanted to leave my mine, but his statement quickly angered me. "Is that what you think of me? Because I haven't been 'innocent' for two years because of Jacob." I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "What has that prick done to you?" His voice was low and dark. "What every teenage boy does at your age. He touches me in ways that disgust me and tells me thing that make my blood run cold." Tears come up to the surface but I quickly blink them away. He pinches the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply.

"What do you want Bella? Clearly you came here for a reason." He sighs, sounding defeated at his attempt to push me away. "You're the only guy I really trust and I… I know what you do." I whisper, cast my eyes to the woodworks of the porch. "And that is?"

"You have sex with a lot of girls, at least that's what the rumours say and I want-"

"Want what Bella?" he snapped. "I want you to corrupt me. I don't feel safe around Jacob, he stole my first kiss and I can't let him steal anything else. At least if I did it with you I know it was my choice, not someone else's." he stared at me, shocked and speechless for a brief moment before grabbing my wrist lightly and dragging me inside, pulling me up the staircase and leading me to what appears to be his bedroom. "Sit." He commands. I walk over to the bed and place myself on top of the covers, my feet not touching the ground. "Are you out of your fucking mind Bella? Not only could I get arrested for statutory rape but I will also have your father killing me for taking his daughter's gift from God." Huh, I never knew Edward Cullen was a religious man.

"Well I would rather give it to you than having it taken away from me by Jacob Black, painfully none the less." I sigh, "Edward, you are the only one who I feel comfortable giving it to. You won't hurt me, you're way too nice." Edward snorts and rolls his eyes. "I am not nice. Nice guys finish last."

"Not in my books." He gaze softens. He shifts himself closer to my body, kneels down to my level and cups my face with his large hands. "I'll do it, on my terms. We go at my pace, which will be slow. If at any time you feel uncomfortable you tell me immediately and we end it and finally you can't tell anyone. I don't want any of us to get hurt in this process. Do you understand?" he looks into my brown eyes as I nod vigorously. "Thank you." I throw my arms around him, pulling him in for a hug which he returns without hesitation. He pulls away slightly till out lips are mere millimetres apart.

We don't question it.

Our lips just crash into one another. His touch sweeping over my lower lip then my upper lip, taking all traces of my raspberry lip balm off my lips. I gasp as his hands move down to my waist, pulling me close and he takes the opportunity to enter his tongue into my mouth.

This is different. It's sweet and dare I say it caring than Jacob's acidic tasting tongue. His taste of cigarettes and watermelon. It slides of mine, taking control. He lowers his hands to my butt and grips me slightly, just enough to lift me and place me higher on his king size bed. He places himself in between my legs to feel his erection straining his zipper.

Now that I'm older I understand the concept of sex more. Dad had explained as well as Leah. I found it utterly degusting until this moment. Edward Cullen is turn on by me!

He slowly starts lightly thrust his erection against my panties, which feel soaked with arousal. I place my hands on the planes of his back, pulling him close to me and making his thrusting more delicious.

I moan while he grunts.

He curses while I bite my lip.

"Bella I need to hear you angel." He says, hitting the right spot. I become more vocal as the pit inside my stomach rolls and rolls into something bigger. His thrusting becomes erratic as his starts to lose his rhythm. "Edward I'm goi-Oh!" I gasp as the internal bad keeping me from falling off the edge snaps. I wither from pleasure as I feel myself clench. Two, three more thrust and Edward stops, groaning and gripping onto the sheets. We both breathe deeply for a few minutes. I eyelids feel heavy and start dropping down. All my energy was taken from me and I can't resist sleeping on Edward's bed. I hear him murmur: "Sleep little Bella." Before my body relaxes and my eyelids shut.


	3. Chapter 3

"There's a girl in Edward's room!" The loud screech woke me up abruptly. I didn't recognise where I was at first, but once my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized that I was still in Edward's room. The door swung open and I quickly threw the cover over my head.

**_Nobody can know._**

I wouldn't go around bragging that I dry humped Edward Cullen. It wasn't achievable, hell he's probably only doing this because it's no string attached sex.

"See, she's still asleep and I can't deal with a pissed off bitch because you woke her up." I felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach.

Bitch. Is that what I was to him? Nothing more than one of his cheap play toys that he can discard when he's done?

"Dude, just tell us who the chick is and we'll leave you and you flavour of the night alone." That voice I recognised as Emmett Cullen.

Emmett is your average quarter back. Bulging muscles that look like they can stand on their own and still choke you to death, wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box, loud with no filter for his mouth and of course he had Rosalie Hale, head cheerleader/model/ice queen/blonde bombshell.

The Hales and Cullens never socialised with others except for Edward's selection for the time being. Even Jessica Stanley has been a selection, but she was not virgin.

Rumour has it that she lost her virginity at thirteen to Eric Yorkie, Mike's best friend when he's eyes wondered to pictures of porn stars in the latest playboy edition that she found under his bed. They are one of those on/off 'couples' and when Jessica had a chance to be with _the_ bad boy of Forks, she dropped Mike like a hot potato and told him she fancied older men, only to come back a week later to Mike, declaring how much she missed him and never wanted to let him go.

For teenagers they grew up really fast.

"Just get the fuck out of my room you two." Edward's voice sounded rough and irritated. The door was quickly shut and I hesitantly peered from under the blanket. We stared at each other silently before he finally spoke, "come on you need to get home." I got up and walked to the door. Before I could touch the handle, Edward pulled me back. He stripped off his jacket and threw it over my head to hide my face from his family members. Probably ashamed of what happened earlier, gosh I'm an idiot thinking that he could actually like me. We walked down the stairs to his car before anyone had the opportunity to identify my face or ask Edward questions. When we reached the car I pulled the jacket off, tossed it in the backseat and simply starred out the window.

Trees flew by

Lights came and went.

No words were spoken during the car ride. The tension in the air was thick and couldn't be cut with anything, so we both keep quiet. Edward made no effort to speak and neither did I.

We finally reached my house after what felt like forever and I would've gotten out of his posh car if he didn't say the words that build me up slowly then will knock me down when I least expect.

"You are different, more different than any other girl I've met. I know you heard the conversation and I just want to say that I don't think you're a bitch. If anything I am, I mean I play hot and cold with you but you still think of me as this good guy."

"You are a good guy Edward." I start, "You may not think it but you are. You could've said no when I offered you my virginity, you could've been a complete asshole ad told me the truth: I'm not pretty enough to even be in the same radius as you. But you listened and helped me in ways that you might not see a right but I see as protecting me." I hear him mutter something and I wait for him to repeat it louder, but he doesn't so I get out and thank him for the ride home. He hands me a CD and tells me that if I like foreigner I would love these guys. I nod and walk to the door.

Ignoring Charlie's rants to tell him where I have been, I quickly move to my room and open the CD case.

**_Nirvana_**

I had heard about them before from Leah but never experienced them myself. I slip the disc into my old school computer and press play.

I am greeted with the loud, grudging stringing of the electric guitar followed by the raspy voice of Kurt Cobain. It's an adrenaline rush through my veins listening to it, but at the same time a calming stimulation to my body. I noticed that something dropped out of the case, a letter. The writing on it is elegant but slightly sloppy.

**_Nirvana: a place of perfect peace and happiness.  
_****_When I saw the CD it reminded me of you, I looked over at you one day after school. I drove past and saw you sitting outside, reading a book that no one your age would read _****_and I realized that at that moment, there with you, was my Nirvana._**

**_I'm not a nice guy. I've tried to show the world multiple times, but your heart sees the good in me that I, myself haven't seen in a long time.  
You make me want to be better so that one I can finally feel like I deserve you, heart and soul. So that is my goal and you are my inspiration._**

**_Yours  
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen._**

I want to cry.

Those words are so strong so overwhelming that I want to scream in pain, rejoice in the truth and declare to the world Edward Cullen's feelings for Isabella Marie Swan.

But that will never happen. No one can know, his rules for his safety.

* * *

I read the note over and over when I realized something. The ink of the writing is faded out and the paper's creases look permanent. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I come to the realisation.

Edward Cullen wrote this long before he rescued from Jacob Black's clutches.

* * *

"Cool CD." Leah and Seth both comment as they enter my room. "Where'd you get it? They don't even make these copies anymore." Leah says, looking intently at the case before playing it. "A friend gave it to me.

"Since when do you have friends that aren't us?" Seth says ignorantly, slumping onto my bed. Leah stops dead in her tracks and looks at me with a look in her eyes that makes me gasp.

She knows.


	4. Chapter 4

I use to love Sundays.

I remember waking up to the smell baked fish, it was the one time of week that dad would make food. Mom would sit at table drinking her cup of steaming decaf coffee and laughing at something my dad said. He would pretend he didn't find it funny himself, but you always see the twitching in his moustache. They looked happy and in love.

But that time of happiness is long gone.

Now I dread Sundays.

Instead of warm, happy family time, dad and Billy went fishing for the day. That meant that Jacob was going to babysit me. I've tried to get out of it so many times to get out of seeing the facts that has made me live in fear for most of my life, but dad won't budge. In Charlie's eyes Jacob Black is the definition of golden boy; he thinks that me spending time with Jacob will help me have a positive attitude towards life seeing as how we both lost our mom, but what Charlie doesn't know is that one day Jacob will be the reason I leave this small town and never look back.

I hear Billy's joyful laughter and a small smile appears on my face. Jacob may be a vile person, but Billy was a man that could make anyone happy, despite how depressing his past was. "Bella come down and greet Billy and Jacob." I heard my father yell. I reluctantly got out of bed and strolled down, trying to delay seeing Jacob, but no matter what I did I would see him and because of that the ball in my stomach grew larger and larger.

* * *

Once I was at the bottom of the staircase I was greeted with Billy's wonderful smile and Jacob's sickly sweet smile. "Hi Billy. Jacob." I kept my eyes downcast. A chill went down my spine, I felt Jacob moved closer and wrap his arms around me. "Belly!" the artificial enthusiasm in his voice could never be picked up by Charlie and Billy, but I know the truth. I push him away with all my strength, "Don't touch me."

Charlie looks at me shocked. "Bella where are your manners?" I can hear the anger burning through his calm voice. Billy is all his has, I can't take that away from him. "I'm sorry…I'm just…"

Charlie's angered look quickly turns sympathetic. "It's okay Bella, I understand."

**_Do you?_**

* * *

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah? Who's calling?"

"Edward." My heart skipped a beat. I felt my cheeks grow warm, but in a pleasant way. "Hi."

"Hi." I can hear the smile in his voice. Probably impossible, but it's the only way to describe his angelic voice. "How did you get my number?"

"Leah, I was surprised how cool she was with it."

"Yeah, she's probably the most understanding person ever." It goes quiet for a moment. I'm hesitant to tell him, but eventually it comes out rapidly. "Jacob's here."

"WHAT!" there's loud shuffling in the background and I hear the sound of glass breaking. "Edward what was that?"

"Nothing. What is he doing there?" for the first time in my fourteen years of living had I never been angry. Irritated maybe or even frustrated or disappointed, but never angry. But Edward Cullen brings all sorts of new things into my life. "Edward that was not _nothing. _If you must know Jacob is here because our dads are friends and I haven't told anyone about what Jacob does. Now what was that?"

"A beer bottle. Fuck." He breathes deeply into the phone. I'm not sure if the _fuck_ was for the Jacob thing or if it's to do with the beer bottle. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No." I say hopelessly. "This is every Sunday for me. It's never going to change." The awkward silence sets in. The two of us are just breathing into the phone, waiting for the other to say something. "I have to go Bella, but I want you to tell m if Jacob does anything to you. I'm going to figure something out I promise."

"I believe you." And for the first time in a long time, there is hope in my heart.

* * *

"Belly, open the door for your dear friend Jake." Tears of fear start to fall. I don't want to upset him; that will only make things worse. I wipe away the tears and close up my heart. "Just come in." the door creaks open but I refuse to look.

The bed dips

His scent fills the air

And his hands are everywhere.

They start on my finger tips. He drags his index finger up to my shoulder, slipping down my spaghetti straps along with my bra straps. He moves to my collar bone, drawing imaginary patterns on each. He becomes a little more ambitious, moving down to my nipple and starts circling it. I curse my body's natural reaction. I hate that my nipples will harden at his touch.

His hands are now fully on my breasts, kneading them, sucking the nipples through my shirt, leaving behind a wet stain to remind me of what a slut I am.

He straddles my waist, caging me. His hands are on my stomach, scarred from all the kicks I had taken to my stomach from him. His nails dig into the scars, reopening the wounds. Those grimy fingers of his move down to the trimming of my underwear, unintentionally peeking out of my pants. He pulls them off in one swift move and he stares at the curls covering my most private area.

**_Please not tonight. At least let Edward take it first. He can't win, he just can't._**

He lowers his head down there and is tongue peaks out, gathers the moisture from my body's reaction. This is new for me; He never made it past my underwear before I made him mad.

It's cold and wet. It doesn't feel like it belongs there.

My stomach starts to churn. Breakfast and lunch are working their way back out. "Jacob please stop. I need to-" I know he'll be mad but I can't do it. I push his head out of my legs and make a quick dash for the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before spilling out all my stomach's continents. It feels like hours before I'm ready to stand up, only to get knocked face down into the tiles by Jacob. His large hand weaves itself into my hair and pulling me to his level. "What the fuck! You think that it would be funny? Well duckling you have another thing coming to you." He says bitterly, pieces of spit flying out of his mouth and landing on my face. He smashes my head one more time into the tiles, hard.

I hear a cracking and the darkness pulls itself over me like a blanket.

I want to welcome it with pleasure, but not before hearing Jacob on the phone. His voice sounds distressed. "Hello Charlie, Bella has been hurt. I don't know what happened, I heard a smash and when I came up she was passed out on the floor. Yes I'll call 911." He ends the call before grabbing pyjamas pants out of the basket and putting it on roughly. "Consider this a warning." He says before calling 911 letting them know the lie he had cleverly constructed.


	5. Chapter 5

Edward lightly caressed my bruised cheek and let out a frustrated sigh. "I wish you would let me kill that asshole." He said falling on his bed.

"It really doesn't, but thank you for caring." I said lying next to him. It's been a week since the incident, no one but myself, Jacob and Edward.

Edward hated that I told no one, but understood why. He has seen firsthand how sad his parents were from his actions and doesn't want the same thing to happen to me. "Bella, you do realise that you can't go on like this. One day he will take his violence to the extreme and you will end up in a worst condition that what you were now."

"Edward you don't have to worry about me like I'm-"

"Like you're what?"Edward interjected.

**_Like I'm your girlfriend._**

"…like I'm a child. I am taking responsibility for my actions like an adult. I had to raise myself, I had to grow up with no mother and even when she was around I was caring for her. So you don't have to take care of me, in case you haven't noticed I've been doing it for a long time." The words just continued to spill out. Some of them weren't even true.

I wanted to be taken care of, just once. I wanted someone to hold me when I cry and ask me how my day at school was. But Edward himself was still growing up, he didn't need to take care of someone else like I did. "Then why are you here? For sex? Because that move that you pulled makes you look like a virgin pretending to be a slut!" His words stung immensely, but it was the truth. It didn't stop the tears from falling. I turned away from him; I'm not going to show weakness in front of him like I do with Jacob.

**_Keep it together Bella, Edward cares is sex. So give it to him._**

"Bella I'm-" I cut him off by smashing my lips to his. He was shocked at first and tried to pull away numerous times, but in the end his lust overpowered him and he responded eagerly. His hands were caressing my sides sweetly.

That's not what I wanted.

I ran my fingers against bronze locks at the nape of his neck before tugging on it, pulling him closer to me, leaving no space between us. I licked his bottom letting him know that I want to be in charge. He eagerly opened his mouth, letting our tongues tangle and fight for dominance. In the end his won due to my lack of experience and he took control, reversing our positions. He rolled us over so that his hips were nestled between my legs which were wrapped around his own. I pulled back, gasping for air as he continued to abuse my neck. Licking, sucking and biting the same spot over and over, marking me as his. My hands were moving down to his jeans, trying to unbutton them in between our bodies. He chuckled lightly before pulling back to unzip it himself. He pulled it down to his ankles before unzipping my sweatshirt, leaving me in my plain white bra. I knew I wasn't as…gifted as Edward's past girls but he didn't seem to mind. He continued sucking on my milky skin, just on the top of my breast instead. It felt right, like he was supposed to be here. But I knew Edward Cullen didn't do relationships, just sex.

And maybe I didn't want to give my virginity to him at this moment but I knew of other things to make him happy.

I flipped us over, so that I was straddling his legs. I placed my hand inside his underwear and pulled out his very large member. "Bella you don't have to do that." He tried to protest, but I could hear the lust in his voice, urging me to continue. "I want to. Just show me how."

He gave in almost immediately and took my small hand. He placed it on his hard, silky rod of pleasure to the ladies of Forks. "Just wrap your hand around it." I tried but eventually gave up and used both hands. He told me to start moving my hands up and down. As I did that a white liquid appeared from the top of his member. He told me to take my thumb and spread it, but I had the urge to taste it. I bent down and placed my tongue on the tip, gathering the salty liquid. "Fuck Bella." He placed his hands in my hair and guided my head to his member, silently begging me to take more. I wrapped my lips around it and started sucking, like Edward instructed. It stared out slow but the paced quickened as I felt him throb. "Bella stop. I… can't…oh God!" he chanted my names and God's several times as ribbons of his sperm were sent down my throat. I felt myself gag a little but manage to swallow most of it. I looked up to see him, panting with sweat glistened on his forehead. He pulled me up to his level again and just held me.

"What was that about?" He whispered kissing the crown of my head. I stayed silent, what answer could I give him other than I'm a whore?

He sensed my uneasiness and figured out the answer. "Bella I didn't mean what I said. I was angry at you for not letting me in. I want to be there for you, when you want to talk or cry or even yell I want to be the one you come to. Day or night, got it?" I nodded with a small smile gracing my face.

It was nice to know that someone cared.

"I want to take you out. Not here in Forks, there nothing to do. What about you and me go to the Port Angeles zoo? I want us to have a good time together. What do you say?"

"That would be really nice, but you don't have to."

"I want you to let me in Bella. Why is that so hard to understand?" he cupped my face with my hands forcing me to look at him. "Because everyone that I let in leaves." The tears pour out and I don't even try to hold it in. "That's not going to be me. Just give me a chance tomorrow." I nod, agreeing.

I was finally going to let Edward in.

* * *

I waited on my porch all day the next day waiting for Edward. I had gotten up extra early in case he got here early, but he never came. The sun came up and went down and there was no sign of him.

I had let him in and he left me alone. He said he wasn't like that but of course he lied and I was stupid enough to believe him.

God I hate being naïve.


	6. Chapter 6

Numbness slowly took over my body after the stars appeared.

It was an effort to get myself into the house. Eating was an issue; I couldn't eat anything without it forming a lump in my throat so that had limited my eating to a minimum. It's not the first time that I have been let down, but Edward said he was special. That he would be there for me when I needed him.

So where is he now?

My mind goes to a mental image of him: laughing, having a good time with the blonde on his arm, and living his teenage years. He seemed happy in the close to reality of a fantasy, so why does he even feel the need to be around me? Was it self-pity, revenge on his nemesis or dare I say it lust?

* * *

Seven days slowly past. I had sort of gotten into this routine: attend school, at minimal, shower I hope that I'll sleep. I ignored friends, Charlie and for once I didn't mind that Jacob violated my body.

At least I would feel something.

Seth, being the naïve boy that he is, noticed nothing wrong with my attitude towards life or that I had rapidly lost weight in the time frame of just seven painfully slow days. For him I would put on the best fake smile I could and tell him that I was okay, happy actually. But Leah saw straight through the lie. She recognised my physical and emotional changes, just like when she lost Sam.

She comforted me in the days that I needed it and never brought up his name for the main purpose not to rub salt on my wounds. She understood me in ways that no one, not even my mother, could.

* * *

**_It's been seven whole days, seven whole days of pure hurt.  
And I can't get away from the burning pain I lie awake  
And the fallen hero haunts my thoughts  
How could you leave me this way?_**

I understood in a way how Lea Michele felt; I guess we all do at some point of our life. This night and shining armour who appears like a dream to you will disappoint you in a way that is so gut wrenching and depressing that you wonder how you could ever survive without that person.

I knew I was still young and this was just a minor taste of life, but it hurts now. It hurts to think about him positively without going to the negative thoughts.

I lie on my bed, reading the classic Pride and Prejudice for the fourth time this week due to a lack of sleep. I enjoy the book because of how Elizabeth never depended on a man other than her father. There are times myself when I want to speak to my dad, about everything. But I know that once the truth comes out, we will never be the same again. That he and Billy will never be the same again. My dad has lost so many things in his life, he doesn't something precious to be taken away from him, like how Renee had taken me away from him.

I shut the book before the tears that are welding in my eyes turn into a full sobbing session where I'll cry over everything. I can faintly hear the soft clanking against my window, I hadn't been bothered but it at first but then it became persistent. I set my book down on my bedside table and got up to see what it was. I tried to opening my window as quietly as possible, Charlie was a heavy sleeper but the window itself was very loud and could easily wake up anyone in the house.

Once opened I peered through to see my falling hero, balancing himself on our garden tree. One hand gripping the tree itself the other was filled with small pebbles which was probably used to alert me of his appearance.

I moved out of the way to let him jump through. Normally I wouldn't believe that anyone could make that jump, Seth had broken his arm three times just attempting. But this was Edward Cullen and a person would never doubt Edward Cullen without reason. Once I gave him a chance to get in I took a good look at what had been missing from my life for the past week, but the results were not what I expected.

His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.

His lips with coated with some sort of alcoholic beverage

And he himself looked physically tired.

"Bellaa miss you so much." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. And that was when we both broke down.

It started out with a few sniffles, but quickly transgressed to full on sobbing. His shirt was stained with my tears while he buried his face into my hair, letting the tears run down to my neck. We never spoke a word for a long time, but it was a comfortable silence. It was the one needed when you were at the first stage of closer. He released me from his arms but placed his hands on mine to lead me to the bed. We both fell into place quickly and just stared at the ceiling till Edward broke the silence. "I know you probably hate me and want nothing to do with me. And there's no excuse that I can give. I can't tell you that I was busy because that would be a lie. Nor can I tell you that I didn't want to be around you because that would be an even bigger lie. The only thing I can tell you is that I was scared. I was feeling things for you that I had never felt with anyone else and that scared the shit out of me. I didn't prepare myself for these feelings when I got involved with you and they suddenly hit me like a shit load of bricks. I ran away because I was scared, I ran away because that was the only thing I knew I could do. But I was wrong, I have been hurting for so long being away from you and I couldn't take it anymore. But knowing what I did to you, I knew that it would take a long time before I ever forgave you. So I'm here to start off with saying I'm sorry. I know I'm not the smartest or the bravest, but I do care about you and it hurts knowing that I'm the reason that you probably won't trust a guy." He gave a few more sniffles before there was complete silence.

I reacted in the one way that I wanted to. I looked him in the eyes and whispered two words.

"Hold me."

He said nothing, just wrapped his arms around me and brought me once again to his shirt and did exactly what I asked.

And for the first time in a long time I felt like I was going to be okay, that not matter Jacob did to me, Edward will be there for me.

As my friend

As my lover

As my hero.

* * *

**Song- If you say so by Lea Michele**


	7. Chapter 7

"Edward you need to go." I whispered, untangling myself from his body. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting his eyes to the brightness of the morning. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head, popping various parts of his body resulting to cracking sounds echoing through my room. He groaned and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to shake himself out of his hangover. "What time did I get here?" He asked and I shrugged. I knew he wouldn't remember a thing so I spent the entire night preparing for this moment.

I needed him to feel what I felt.

I wanted him to hurt like how I have been hurting.

But I couldn't hurt him, I wasn't capable of doing it. So instead I kept quiet.

"I should probably go out through the window again huh? Don't want to run into the Chief early in the morning. I hear his not a morning person." he laughed quietly, trying to break the ice but it was pointless.

My faith in him had been tarnished. I nodded mutely and shuffled over to the window, opening it as silently as I could. He walked over and wrapped his toned arms around my shoulders. He kissed the crow of my head and said: "I'll call you tonight. Esme and Carlisle like to have a quiet Sunday." And finally I found my voice. It was soft and groggy but it was the first step in being independent.

"No."

Edward pulled back to look at me bewildered. "Bella…" I shook my head, "No. I'm not going to be a pawn in Edward Cullen's game. I'm not going to forgive him every time he fucks up and I'm not going to let him walk all over me, deciding when I'm good enough for him." I paused, taking a breath before continuing. "We've never ever been anywhere other than this crummy house and if it wasn't for Jacob you wouldn't have given two shits about me. Admit it Edward all this 'relationship' ever was is your pity on me. But you know what?" I looked down, suddenly nervous to saying the ending to this monologue. "You just as much as Jacob does, but at least his bruises disappear. You need to figure out what you want from me, because I'm done playing in a game that I know I'm going to lose." I sniff and look at everywhere but at him. "If that's how you feel." He finally said. He prepare to jump out but he hesitated. I still didn't look but I could feel his presence. "Bella, you have never been a pawn in my game. You were always my queen." He said, quietly slipping out.

And that's when the true tears started.

* * *

I had never been a fan of Taylor Swift. I always found her too emotional about a short term relationship, but even I won't deny that her songs speak the truth.

**_We had a beautiful, magic love affair.  
What a sad, beautiful, tragic love affair._**

It was odd to hear that what this typical country singer has experienced in her life was what I was experiencing now. I knew Edward Cullen was my first love, but I hated that he was. Love isn't suppose to make you wish that you were better for that person, he or she should be happy with who you are. Edward wasn't supposed to be ashamed of me.

But I guess I really can't blame him. I asked to be a part of this, I shouldn't bicker about the repercussions.

"Belly let's play a game." Jacob said entering the living room. All I want is to be left alone for one day, can't the universe accept that?

"Go away Jacob." I sigh. I was tired of fighting. He clicked his tongue, "That is no way to speak to a **_friend _**Bella." I felt his extremely warm hand on my shoulder. "You're not even an acquaintance." I tried to shrug off his hand but his grip stayed firm. "That's not very nice Belly. I've know you since forever."

"And you have made my life a living hell." I snapped. A burning sensation flamed within me. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I pushed his hand off and turned to face him. "I have put up with your shit for a long time and I'm sick of it. If you ever touch me again I swear I will-"

"Tell your daddy? Newsflash Bella: who is going to believe you? I'm Jacob Black, golden boy of La Push. You're a pathetic nobody." He shoved me so that I was lying on the couch. I tried to crawl away, but he placed his body weight on me. He used one of his large hands to pin my arms above my head and the other to unbutton my jeans. "You shouldn't mess with me Bella, I can, have and always will make it a time of everlasting pain, mentally and physically." Before he could go any further I kneed him in the crotch. He howled in pain and let go of me. I quickly got up and turned to leave but not before I kicked him, again and again. "That's for thinking I'm pathetic. You Jacob Black are pathetic, using a young innocent girl for your sinful pleasures." I ran to the front of the door and ran.

My heart was beating erratically, the famous Forks rain turned into hail and was pelting painfully on my skin but I refused to stop. Not until I reached my destination.

* * *

A short while after that my legs caved in. I fell to the ground of a meadow, covered in little shards of ice. I was wearing nothing my a tank top, a hoodie and my jeans. I looked at my hands and saw that they were blue and shaking from the cold. Hail particles were found in my hair as it continued to hail. My shoes were soaked and the shoelaces were cutting the circulation in my feet but I refuse to take them off and lose what little heat I have. I curled myself into a ball and continued to shake. My eyes started dropping.

Maybe this was it, maybe this was my way out of agony.

My eyes were now shut completely and I could feel this darkness taking over me, an angel calling my name.

I smiled and tried to let the darkness consume me, but the voice became louder, more panicked and broken.

"Bella! Please wake up. I need to stay awake. Fuck I just need you… I love you." I opened my eyes slightly to see the person behind this pained voice.

"Daddy."

* * *

**Song: Sad, beautiful tragic by Taylor Swift.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Beep **

**Beep **

**Beep **

I opened my eyes. My head hurt, my throat felt like the Sahara desert and my body felt ice cold. Maybe I'll just close my eyes…

* * *

**Beep **

**Beep**

**Beep**

"Then Mike yelled out that Lauren gave him a blow job in her own room. The look on Jessica's face look like a mixture of Freddy Kruegar and one of those housewife's from the orange county. She told him that she lost her virginity to Mr Newton, his own father!" I recognized Seth's over enthusiastic voice but my eyes refuse to open.

I could feel some sort of object poking arm with slight stinging sensation as Seth shook my arm, putting actions into his story. My body still felt cold. Maybe I'll sleep for just a while longer…

* * *

"So… you're like my closest girl friend and I know you won't judge. I met someone, not like physically. We were mutual friends on Facebook and we started talking and we share the same interests, he has the same opinions on life; he just gets me, you know. I never thought I would trust another man after what Sam did to me. Anyway, he's name is Paul and apparently he live in La Push, the Native American reservation, but doesn't want to meet me, scared it will ruin the illusion. Of what? I have no fucking clue and it really pisses me off but…he's got this thing that I can't seem to get enough of. He says he's sixteen like me. I wish you were awake to tell 'Lee, this guy is kind of shadey. I mean who doesn't want to meet you' or something."

I wish I was awake, but my body is just cold. I need to get my warmth back…

* * *

"Why isn't she waking up? Please Carlisle, she's all I have. I lost her mom, I can't lose her too."

"Charlie we are doing everything we can. She's suffering from hypothermia, her pulse is extremely weak and her body is refusing all help. Right now all we can do is to make sure she stays warm…"

* * *

Warm

Too warm. The heat was overwhelming I need to open my eyes and see what's happening. My eyes felt crusty as I opened them but I didn't mind, because the sight in front of me was breath taking.

Edward Cullen was blowing and vigorously rubbing both of my hands. The purple bags under his eyes indicate that he hasn't slept in days. He looked sickly pale and his usual sex hair was just flopped in front of his eyes. He looked so young and vulnerable, he looked his age.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry. I hate myself, and I know that if you were here you would say that it's not my fault. God, you were right behind my house probably scared out of your mind and cold, so cold. If I would've paid attention other than wallowing maybe you wouldn't be here. Maybe we'd be out at that same meadow just laying there and not worrying about the future… instead you're here, unconscious and found by my sister who doesn't even know you but could recognize you and your struggle." The warmth of his tears radiated on my skin. I tried to speak but my voice came out in a small raspy whisper.

"E-Edwa-ward." His bewitching eyes looked into my own eyes. He looked like he was about to say something but there was one thing I needed more than ever. "W-w-water." He looked at me for a brief moment, registering what was happening before he shot up to get the glass and place the straw in between my chapped lips. I savoured each gulp until there was nothing left and my stomach bloated up from the water, sloshing around. "Thank you" I said, my voice still soft but not raspy anymore. "Edward how long was I out for?"

"Four excruciating days. The EMTs said that when they found you, your lips and nails were blue. I had never been so scared in my entire life. I was so afraid that…that I lost you and the last thing you would remember me by was what an asshole I was."

My body started feeling heavy again but I need to let Edward know what I felt. "You're not and asshole you're my…"

"Your what Bella?"

"Hero." My eyelids dropped instantly.

* * *

I couldn't breathe.

Something was preventing me. I started to struggle but that made the force stronger. The oxygen that was lacking was making my brain fuzzy. I could feel my pulse slow down.

What was happening?!

Thankfully the force was roughly pushed off me and I took the opportunity to gasp for air, not knowing if I would get other opportunity to breathe again. Once my mind refocused itself I saw Edward and Jacob wrestling on the floor, Edward punching and kicking while Jacob tried pushing him away to get in his own punches. If anyone saw this, what would they think? Edward if already in the dog box with Charlie. "Edward p-please stop!"

**Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep **

My heart rate was spiking up, my breathing quickened so much that I felt like I was hyperventilating. "PLEASE!" I screamed.

Suddenly Carlisle came in looking first at me then at the scene in front of him. Red flooded his pale cheeks, furiously he walked over to the boys and grabbed the back of Edward's shirt, yanking him up and dragging him out of the room while another mal nurse helped Jacob up and offered to get some ice. He agreed and walked out but not before looking at me with that evil smile that he wears so well.

* * *

"But Daddy-"

"Isabella Marie Swan you will not make up lies about Jacob Black. He has been practically like family and that is how you treat him? By making up lies about how he smothered you and abuses you. Why on earth would he do that?"

It has been going on like this for two days. When Charlie asked what happened I told him the truth. How Jacob has been assaulting me not only physically but also sexually, how he was the reason I ran away and that we was the one who tried to suffocate me. During that time Edward has been going in countless times to the station for questioning, yet Jacob remains free and innocent.

"Because he is mentally unstable, tried to rape me countless times and if it wasn't for Edward-"

"And that another thing, since when is that low life your friend. You defend him when Jacob did nothing-"

"You know what?" I finally break down, "I can't take it anymore, I want my mom. I don't want to be here anymore with Jacob lurking in every corner trying to steal what's precious and you believing that scum other than your own daughter." The tears were streaming down my face but I didn't care, I had to continue, "I was so scared to tell you about Jacob because I was scared that it would ruin your friendship with Billy, but instead it just ruined your relationship with me. I want to be with mom and her new husband and pretend like we're a functioning family because that is a lot better than living in this hell hole with a father who cares more about a criminal than his own daughter." Once I was done I looked up.

In all my years on earth had I never seen my father shed a tear, but now just like me the tears were streaming down his face. I felt guilty.

I never meant to hurt him, I wanted him to know the truth, but I guess the truth hurts. He looked not at me but through me. "If that's what you want I'll call your mother tomorrow morning and arrange something. Just… go to your room."

"Daddy-"

"I said go!" he yelled and I quickly shuffled upstairs and closed my door before releasing what I was holding back. I ran to my bed and quickly grabbed my phone.

**I'm ready. **

My phone beeped.

**I'll be there in ten minutes**


	9. Chapter 9

It's been two weeks since the fight.

He hasn't made any contact with me which can only mean one of two things: He realised his mistake but is too prideful to ask his daughter to come home or…he sees Jacob more as an offspring than me.

To everyone I act like I don't care but inside I'm secretly hoping it's the first conclusion. Maybe I was too harsh on him, I knew that Renee and Phil was a sensitive topic to him but at the time I had no filter to my mouth and look where that landed me, staying in Leah's room hearing the tapping sounds of the laptop as she types to Paul till early hours of the morning, depriving myself of sleep. But I guess I can't complain, Leah is the only one who would accept me in her home. Sue was so generous to let me in, having the same experience when she became pregnant with Leah at only sixteen. Distracted in my own thoughts I only realise sometime later that my phone had been ringing. The caller ID shocks me and I answer the phone immediately.

"Edward?"

"When were you going to tell me that you're moving?" he snaps harshly. I take a deep breath to calm myself down before I land myself in another screaming match with someone important to me. "I was defending you to Charlie and some things were said by both of us, but I'm not moving Edward. He has to forgive me."

"Bella, he's packing up boxes of things that I'm assuming is yours. Look where are you I need to see you before… something happens."

"I'm at Leah's house. She knows about what our rela…what we're doing."I had to cut myself off. I may probably be in love with Edward Cullen but I can't admit anything, especially when I'm not sure if I'm real to him or not."

"I'll be there in fifteen to twenty minutes max."

* * *

"The last time I was here I was on the verge of dying of hypothermia. It's much better when there's no hail pelting my body." I sighed; resting my head on Edward's stretched out bicep. We'd been laying in the same meadow that I took refuge in not too long ago. This right now between us is what the people of society would describe as nice, but to me it's magnificent. Everything I could've imagined. We laid there for maybe three minutes or three hours. We hadn't said much in that time, just simply stared at the sky giving and receiving light caresses. "How much convincing would it take to get you to stay?"

"He chose the scum at the bottom of the Earth over his own flesh and blood. Even if I stay with Leah till the end of senior year, I'm going to see him and I don't want to be reminded of that. It's just better for everyone."

He huffed. "Not for me." I raised myself to my elbows to look at him. "Why would you say that? With me gone, you could go on with your normal life. You could have a different girl on your arm, without worrying about some snotty girl in middle school. You would be able to talk to your family about anything, no secrets. It would be a huge advantage to you if I left."

"Stop talking about leaving!" he yelled. I tried to speak but he quickly interrupted me. "Before you I was so lost, I used girls to pleasure myself and never gave two shits about any of them. I only spoke to my parents if I had detention and needed them to get me out of it. Don't you get it Bella? You made me a better person. When I wake up the first thing I think about is what I can do to prove to myself that I am meant to be yours. The thought of you not being around scares me, immensely. I…I love you Isabella Marie Swan. You captured my heart ever since I saw you reading Wuthering Heights at the age of eleven. You continued to steal it when you looked at me with such innocence and told me that I should've been your first kiss. When you're angry or hurt by me I just want to shower with whatever your heart desires and apologize. I thought I lost you not so long ago and I could function without you in me in my life. I never want to hurt you because hurting you would be like hurting myself because you have become a part of me, heart and soul." He pulled a small, velvet box out of his jean pocket. "My grandfather gave this to my grandmother when they were both fourteen. He said that no matter what happened he would always pick her. It's not an engagement ring, it's a promise ring. No matter what happens to us in life. I pick you to spend the rest of my life with." He opened the box. Inside was a plain stainless steel ring. Metallic flowers were placed around the band with an engraving _I pick you_. "Bella, I want you to promise that in ten years time, we will come here and nothing about us will change." I was so shocked and joyful. Tears of happiness streamed down my face. I took one look him, slipped on the ring and whispered: "I want to give you my gift." He looked at me, doubting for a moment before quickly straightening the blanket that we had been laying on. He pulled me down to his level, capturing my lips and quickly ridding me of my clothes. He pampered my skin with light kisses, starting at my eyes moving down to my swollen lips to the hollows of my neck. From there he moved to my collar bone staying there for a while. Kissing, nipping, and licking I could feel myself growing aroused from this small gesture. I reached down to the bottom of his t shirt, tugging it over his gorgeous set of hair. He took himself off my skin for a split second to throw his the item somewhere before returning to my skin, only this time he moved to my right breast.

I admit I am below average breast size, but he didn't mind. He just continued to suck, twist and pinch each nipple while undoing his belt and pulling his pants and underwear down in one go. He laid me down on the blanket and placed himself between my legs. He quickly pulled up for air to retrieve the small, squared package.

And that's when it hit me. This was real, I'm about to have sex with Edward Cullen. Was I ready? Probably not. Do I want this? Yes. Will I regret this? Never and why? Because I loved Edward Cullen. "Hey come back to me." He whispers as he opens the packet using his teeth and rolls the latex over his erection. "It's going to sting a lot at first but don't worry about it. If you want to stop, just tell me." I nodded and closed my eyes, waiting.

Slowly he entered and the further he went the more pain I felt. I grabbed onto his hand lacing my fingers in his, silently asking him to keep me safe. "I'll never hurt you, ever." He kissed my face as he moved in further, breaking my barrier. I gave out a strangled cry, he stopped and whispered soothing words of love and comfort.

After a while the pain lessened and the pleasure increased. I rotated my hips, testing, and Edward let out a strangled groan. He looked at me, silently asking me if he could start moving. I nodded and he slid himself out, leaving only the tip in before sliding all the way in again. Soon I was clinging to him as he kept sliding in and out slowly, making love to me.

It wasn't long till we came. Screaming each other's name and I love you, we both rode out our orgasms till there was nothing left to do.

* * *

Sometime later we had gotten dressed and packed up. I insisted that Edward drop me off at Charlie's house to just talk to him. Although he was quite sceptical, he agreed. We kissed each other goodbye and I descended to the house. The house was dark so I called out Charlie's name repeatedly, hoping he was asleep.

"Charlie? It's me Bel-" I was quickly cut off when a large hand slammed over my mouth. A deep dark breath whispered in my ear: "Now that Cullen got what he wanted it's my turn."

**_Jacob Black._**


End file.
